


if you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flown, honey i'm still free, take a chance on me

by endofdaysforme



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: F/F, also if you squint your eyes real hard you'll maybe see helena/harley/dinah just sayin, anyway uhhhh enjoy?, yo I'm so not used to writing for another fandom but bop owns me rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofdaysforme/pseuds/endofdaysforme
Summary: this has become somewhat of a frequent thing since harley’s escape from them a few months ago after the fiasco with roman sionis. of course, the first time it happened, dinah had grabbed harley by the throat because harley stole her fucking car and she wanted it back, and harley had giggled, telling her to choke her harder, to which dinah had glared at her before harley had finally held up the keys with a grin and a simple ‘i got a better one now anyway! business is boomin’ for me and cassie!”of course, the second time, dinah had grabbed her by the throat again, this time because the former beau of the joker had left a damaged bumper and scratches to the paint job of her car for her to fix when she had so graciously returned it, but harley had managed to weasel her way out of a knuckle sandwich again by holding up a bottle of whiskey and a grin, and well…dinah’s never really been able to say ‘no’ to a bottle of whiskey.--aka, dinah lance has only ever loved one person in her life before. she's not accustomed to it and the idea of it is terrifying. but dammit, harley quinn's smile is enough to make an exception.--aka I've seen birds of prey four times and I'm obsessed, enjoy!
Relationships: Dinah Lance/Harleen Quinzel, Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 40
Kudos: 240





	if you're all alone, when the pretty birds have flown, honey i'm still free, take a chance on me

**Author's Note:**

> this is very strange for me, and I'm actually so nervous because if you click on my lil username, you'll see I've written over thirty fics for riverdale and birds of prey is...very different from that LMAO. this is my first time writing for something else and whew it's scary.
> 
> but I've seen birds of prey a beautiful total of four times now and it's so fucking good and my favorite part of the entire damn movie was the dynamic between dinah/harley so I HAD to write this. there'll probably be more birds of prey fics coming with dinah/harley, dinah/helena, helena/harley, all three of 'em, who knows, I love all three of them so yeah!
> 
> to any fans of my riverdale fics, don't worry, I haven't abandoned anything, you'll get your updates soon I promise! I just have to write for birds of prey too!
> 
> and if you haven't watched this amazing movie yet, please do! it's so good and the idea of it not getting a sequel hurts my damn heart :(
> 
> anyway, leave a comment letting me know what you think or you can find me on twitter at @endofdaysforme!

it’s not often that dinah lance gets pissed off, but when she does…boy, is it a smart idea to stay the fuck out of her way. 

to say she’d kick her own ass if she could in her rage is an understatement.

which is exactly why helena bertinelli and renee montoya haven’t texted her or called her all morning, or since the second they went their separate ways last night after their failed mission which resulted in all of their asses getting beat for, well, nothing.

all for fucking nothing. 

dinah throws herself down onto one of the chairs on the balcony of her apartment, grabs her pack of cigarettes and slides one out before she’s placing it between her lips with a heavy sigh and a wince at the way it causes her cheek to spasm with pain. 

it’s not getting her ass kicked that’s pissed her off, she’s been getting her ass beat on these streets since she was twelve and stole her first candy bar. no, it’s not that, it’s the fact that they’ve been working so fucking hard on finding the head of the hydra: the leader of the current drug and sex ring operation that’s been ruling gotham for the last four and a half months and yet, they have nothing.

kids have gone missing, girls as young as fucking fifteen, and when dinah had heard that the daughter of one of her old neighbors had also gone missing three weeks ago…

she wants to find him. she wants to find him and kick his teeth into his brain and leave him a vegetable for what he’s fucking done. they came so close last night, so fucking close…

she hisses under her breath at the ache in her ribs as she reaches for the lighter on the table, lighting her cigarette and taking a long drag before letting the smoke slowly billow from her nose and mouth.

renee needs to get her fucking shit together, dinah won’t do this shit again, won’t leave herself vulnerable and black and blue for nothing-

“ain’t anyone ever tell ya smokin’s bad for you!?” 

“oh…fuck me…” dinah murmurs under her breath, rolling her eyes as she looks beside her with a sigh to see none other than harley quinn dangling upside down from the fucking railing of the balcony above her, eyes wide and red lips pulled into a bright smile as she giggles and slowly lifts herself up to grip the railing with her hands before she lowers herself down until her feet are flat on the floor beside dinah, who scoffs and takes another drag of her cigarette with a shrug.

“so is jumping into a vat of chemicals for a boy, but i bet you know that, huh, harley?” she says with a slight menace to her tone that has Harley's wide grin fading, replaced with a frown before she huffs and collapses into the chair beside dinah with a pout and a glare.

“…only you could say somethin’ like that without a slap to that gorgeous mouth of yours, BC.” she grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child while dinah laughs and leans back into her chair. 

this has become somewhat of a frequent thing since harley’s escape from them a few months ago after the fiasco with roman sionis. of course, the first time it happened, dinah had grabbed harley by the throat because harley stole her fucking car and she wanted it back, and harley had giggled, telling her to choke her harder, to which dinah had glared at her before harley had finally held up the keys with a grin and a simple ‘i got a better one now anyway! business is boomin’ for me and cassie!” 

of course, the second time it had happened, dinah had grabbed her by the throat again, this time because the former beau of the joker had left a damaged bumper and scratches to the paint job of her car for her to fix when she had so graciously returned it, but harley had managed to weasel her way out of a knuckle sandwich again by holding up a bottle of whiskey and a grin, and well…

dinah’s never really been able to say ‘no’ to a bottle of whiskey.

since then, harley’s been coming around every once in a while, apparently visiting each one of the birds of prey at their homes, but dinah’s place seems to be more of an attraction for the girl, her visits with dinah much more frequent than her ones with renee or helena.

whether it’s because she likes the apartment or the person living in it, however, dinah isn’t too sure.

“you know me, i like testing the waters.” she sighs, exchanging a humorous, but gentle smile with the former harlequin as she giggles before she’s taking in dinah’s defeated posture with wonder.

“you seem extra grumpy this mornin’! everythin’ okay?” she squeaks with that annoyingly high pitched voice of hers, harley’s eyes telling the story of her concern as dinah chews on the inside of her cheek in an attempt to stop her tears.

“last night was a bust. thought we were on the verge of bringing down a fucking drug and sex ring operation, but…montoya got shit intel from an old cop friend. we got our asses handed to us, and there was nothing there.” she says through slightly bared teeth, a single tear slipping that she quickly wipes away as she maintains her composure and takes another drag from her cigarette. 

“yeah…i can tell. that’s one hell of a shiner you got there.” harley whispers, suddenly leaning forward in her seat and reaching out to brush her thumb over the reddened and puffy skin of dinah’s cheekbone, and dinah finds herself flinching away for a brief second, but not because it’s unwelcome…

“your hands are cold.” she huffs, but she finds herself leaning into harley’s touch with a sigh as the blonde giggles and shifts closer, resting the back of her hand fully against the injured skin now and causing dinah’s eyes to flutter before they close fully. 

“feel good?” harley asks softly, and dinah smiles and opens her eyes with a soft hum to see harley staring at her with a look she hasn’t ever quite seen before from the crazed girl. 

“mmm, yeah…thanks. how’s the kid?” dinah asks, clearing her throat in an attempt to alleviate some of the weird tension, and of course, harley, who probably didn’t feel an ounce of said tension, grins widely and giggles before she shrugs and swaps to holding the other hand up to dinah’s cheek when the other one begins to warm up. 

“she’s fine, left her with brucie!” she says happily, and dinah blinks at her in shock before she scoffs in disbelief.

“…you left cassandra with the fucking hyena?” she exclaims, leading harley to whine in protest.

“whaaaat, he loves her! they cuddle up every night, at this point, he might as well be hers! leaves me feelin’ real lonely sometimes, with no one to cuddle…” she pouts, batting her eyelashes at dinah, who grins despite herself and shakes her head in amusement. 

“you asking me for a cuddle, harley?” 

“depends, you willin’ to give me one?” harley says wickedly, shuffling even closer until she’s jumping out of her chair-

and landing right into dinah’s lap, throwing her arms around her neck as dinah groans in protest but still finds herself gripping harley’s waist to steady her despite herself. 

“…god, you’re annoying.”

“but i’m makin’ ya smile, right?!” harley grins, digging a finger into dinah’s dimple as she laughs and swats her hand away with a roll of her eyes.

but she can’t exactly deny it. she stepped onto this balcony feeling defeated and pissed off, and now she’s smiling and laughing, and, well…

she finds herself looking up at harley, the blonde meeting her eyes for a brief moment before she’s giggling-

and leaning down to press a red stained kiss to dinah’s bruised and battered cheek.

her lips are equally as cold as her hands were, and dinah finds herself wondering if maybe harley just runs at a cooler temperature than most, and that then gets her thinking that maybe it’s a result of the chemicals she threw herself into for that asshole, and how it makes her want to hunt down that green haired animal and punch his lights out for ever putting harley through any of it…which then has her wondering…

“what were you like before him, harley?” dinah whispers, forcing the girl to slowly pull back and look down at the former singer with a look of hesitation before she seems to frown in concentration, her fingers moving slightly underneath the braids that make up dinah’s hair to scratch fondly at the baby hairs on the back of her neck. 

“i was… _someone._ a doctor, and a good fuckin’ one at that. i had promise…but he made me feel somethin’ i’d never felt before…” harley murmurs, eyes downcast and avoiding dinah’s as she suddenly uses her free hand, the one not scratching at the back of her neck, to slowly rub off the red print of lipstick stuck to dinah’s cheek, and even more surprisingly…

she’s as gentle as she’s probably ever been as she does it. 

“he made me feel _wanted._ my dad traded me for a six pack of beer and shipped me off to an orphanage when i kept poppin’ back up, and every partner i had in college left within a month or two, once the ‘fun’ had worn off…he made me feel like he really wanted me. but then he just ended up dumpin’ me on my ass, just like the rest of ‘em.” she deadpans, scoffing as she pushes just a little too hard on dinah’s already wounded cheek, but the black canary doesn’t flinch, just digs her nails into harley’s thigh a little as she watches the pale girl above her smile with tears brimming in those ocean eyes. 

“but i was _someone._ i wasn’t defined by him, or bein’ his. i was just…me. but i was unloved and unwanted…just like i am now.” harley says, voice shaking and wavering with emotion and pain, and dinah throws all caution to the wind and clutches harley tighter, fingers digging into her waist to pull her closer as she stares up at her in wonder and awe.

“you’re wanted, harley. i…” she feels her throat close up, the unspoken words resting dormant on her tongue and struggling to escape, because it’s fucking hard to be vulnerable, and it’s fucking hard to say what she’s wanted to say from the moment she saw harley across the bar that night at roman’s club all those months ago…

“i want you.” 

it comes out in a soft whisper, and dinah can’t help the tears that prick her eyes as she looks up at harley through hooded eyes that can’t seem to stop dropping down to her smudged red lips, watching in a hypnotic daze as they part in a gasp at her words before they split into a gentle, but wicked grin.

“what kinda way we talkin’ here, BC?” she teases, those nails at the back of her neck scratching a little harder as dinah shifts slightly to pull harley impossibly closer.

“whatever way you want.” dinah murmurs, watching the thrumming of her pulse beneath the pale skin of her neck with this sudden desire to sink her teeth into it, because fuck it, harley is hot and enticing and dinah is lonely.

sue her. 

“you sure you can handle it?” harley giggles, pushing her chest up just a little and prompting dinah to roll her eyes with a laugh at her antics before she’s pinching the skin on harley’s thigh in reprimand. 

“i should ask you the same thing.” she growls playfully, laughing as harley whines in protest and shifts away from her slightly with another giggle before her expression is softening and she’s cradling dinah’s face in her cold hands, brushing her thumbs over her cheekbones in wonder.

“mmm…you’re playin’ a dangerous game, dinah lance.” she breathes. dinah cocks an eyebrow in question.

“i am?”

“yeah…you don’t want someone crazy like me fallin’ for you.” harley sighs, disappointment written all over her face as dinah suddenly tucks a hand under her chin to lift her gaze with a smile.

“maybe you’re exactly what i need.” harley scoffs, shakes her head and looks up at dinah with her bottom lip clutched between her pearly white teeth to stop it from trembling as tears fall down those pale cheeks like goddamn diamonds, and dinah brushes them away easily with the back of her hand, feeling like maybe this is just what she does…that saving harley quinn, whether from others or from herself, is just what she’s born to do.

if so, she doesn’t necessarily mind…

“don’t play, BC…don’t play…”

“hey…you’re not the only one who feels unloved and unwanted.” dinah says with a sad smile, watching in surprise as harley rolls her eyes and suddenly flicks her ear lightly.

“now that’s just crazy and you know it!”

“ow! how so?” dinah exclaims, rubbing her ear with a laugh as harley lets out a loud sigh and leans back even further from her position on dinah’s lap.

“who the hell wouldn’t want you?” she asks with genuine confusion.

and that about does it for dinah.

“can i kiss you?” she blurts out, her cheeks immediately flushing when harley’s eyes widen before she’s licking her lips and letting out a soft chuckle of surprise. 

“no one’s ever really asked permission before.” she says in disbelief, prompting dinah to simply shrug.

“that a bad thing?”

“no, just makes you a sap. you wanna kiss me, just kiss me-.”

the rest of harley’s sentence is cut off by full lips crashing against her own, dinah’s fingers digging into her waist and pulling her further into her lap as harley’s hands fly up to grip dinah’s face on instinct, and if harley’s surprised by how fucking gentle this kiss is compared to the many others she’s had in her life, she doesn’t show it.

she just submits and lets dinah capture her bottom lip between her own, teeth only slightly scraping over it teasingly before she’s pulling away and resting her forehead against harley’s, the both of them desperately trying to catch their breath, and desperately trying to piece together what they’ve just done.

“like that?” dinah says with a breathless whisper after a few moments of silence, and harley finds herself smiling before she’s pressing another gentle kiss to dinah’s lips to seal the moment. 

“yeah…exactly like that.” 

—

well, after that, it kind of becomes a routine for them.

dinah wouldn’t exactly say they’re dating, because they’re definitely not, but she wouldn’t deny it if someone called them friends…maybe friends with benefits, she guesses that could fit them, too. 

it’s not that big of a deal. sure, renee and helena don’t know about it, because dinah doesn’t want to hear the lecture she’s positive she’ll get from renee about how harley is insane if she ever does find out, like dinah isn’t _completely_ aware of that fact, and helena’s still trying to grasp the concept of being social and talking to people without becoming an awkward mess of a human, which dinah can’t exactly blame her for…she did spend a majority of her teenage years and young adulthood with two assassins learning how to kill people, so…

besides, she kind of wants to keep this thing with harley to herself for now.

because it’s nice. it’s nice to have someone she can rely on when she feels like crap after a mission, and it’s nice to have someone she can talk with and…do other things with. 

doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy. harley isn’t exactly good with emotions or talking about them, and honestly, neither is dinah. some days there isn’t even any talking involved: it’s just dinah ripping harley’s clothes off while the former clown princess of crime giggles and pays it forward double time, which is a problem in of itself.

because fuck, harley is rough as hell, and dinah won’t lie and say she doesn’t like a little rough and tough action, especially in the bedroom, but harley’s idea of rough is…very different to dinah’s.

rough to dinah is hair pulling, maybe a bit of biting and the occasional slap to the ass here and there, but for harley, well…

“really? i thought people like that!” harley exclaims, propping herself up onto her elbow and turning to the side to look at dinah in shock as the former songstress laughs loudly in shock, still recovering from one hell of an orgasm, and the shock of how harley first tried to get her there. 

“not to the point of unconsciousness! you try that shit again on me and i’ll kick your ass!” dinah exclaims, shaking her head in disbelief and rubbing the red marks on her neck from harley’s hands being around them as harley shrugs and practically crashes her naked body on top of dinah’s to grab dinah’s pack of cigarettes on the bedside table. she pinches one, places it between very smudged red lips before she’s pulling the lighter out of the packet with a tut of disapproval.

“nuh uh, as if, BC, people _like_ that shit!” she says firmly, blowing out a cloud of smoke and crashing onto her back on the bed while dinah rolls her eyes and jumps out of the bed to open the window before the smoke alarm goes off, ignoring harley’s whistle of approval at the sight of her naked body out from under the bedsheets.

“yeah, _crazy_ people!” dinah chuckles, enjoying the cool breeze on her overheated, sweat soaked body before she’s grabbing a robe off the floor and shrugging it on quickly.

“hello?! you’re talkin’ to the one who built the cuckoo’s nest here!” harley exclaims, taking a long drag from the cigarette between her fingers and prompting dinah to make her way back over to her with a roll of her eyes. she pinches the cigarette from between her fingers so she doesn’t get any ash on the bedsheets and makes her way back over to the window, sitting on the sill and ignoring the whine of protest from harley as she does.

“you’re telling me you’re one of them?” dinah murmurs, flicking ash out of the open window and looking back over to the bed to see harley slowly sit up and hug her knees, pale skin shining in the moonlight as her brow furrows in what looks like confusion.

“well… _he_ liked to do it to me. so that would mean i am…” she croaks out, resting her chin on her knees and looking up at dinah for confirmation.

and dinah’s heart cracks just a little more at how confused harley looks by it all, at just how confused this girl really is over whether or not she _likes_ a man doing something like that to her, all because of him…

dinah is silent, unsure of what to say, or how to even feel, but she’s blinking back tears at the way harley cocks her head to the side with a soft hum before-

“right?” she whispers hoarsely, looking at dinah once again for confirmation, and all dinah can do wipe away her tears before she’s shaking her head slowly.

“it’s not a question of if he liked it. the question is did _you_ like it?” dinah asks softly.

and harley’s eyes widen before she’s swallowing thickly and giving only the smallest shake of her head.

“he shouldn’t have been doing things to you that you didn’t like.” dinah says resolutely, and harley chuckles darkly before she’s hugging her knees even tighter with a clenched jaw and eyes screwed shut tight.

“he did a lot of things to me i didn’t like.” she deadpans. dinah sighs, takes another drag of her cigarette before she’s holding her hand out to harley with a smile.

“hey…”

harley looks up at her in surprise, hesitates before she jumps up out of the bed with a smile of her own, making her way over and taking dinah’s hand as she chews on her bottom lip in hesitation. dinah chuckles and tugs her down gently until she’s sitting between her legs on the window sill, her back eventually hitting dinah’s chest as she lays against her with a heavy sigh.

harley shivers slightly from the cold air coming through the window, and dinah opens her robe just a little to close it around harley, laughing at the way harley wiggles further into her with a cheeky grin and a content hum.

it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of them sharing the last of the cigarette between dinah’s fingers before dinah’s lips are pressing a gentle kiss to the back of harley’s head, nose nuzzled straight into bleach blonde hair that somehow, even after all these years, has that faint chemical smell to it…

“i didn’t know it could be this way…that i could have this.” harley croaks out suddenly, reaching for dinah’s fingers that are resting on her thigh before she begins playing with them in a way that has dinah resting her cheek against harley’s ear with her heart beating all too fast at just how _different_ it all is.

“have what?” she asks, smiling as harley sinks further into her and allows dinah to rest her chin on her shoulder.

“somethin’ nice.” she says with a lilt to her tone that pertains such happiness, it has dinah pressing a kiss to her pulse point before she’s untangling her hand from harley’s and using it to cup the girl’s cheek, turning her head so she can kiss her properly until they both get dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

and it’s when harley pulls away and kisses the corner of her mouth before she whispers against her lips; ‘now that’s the only way i wanna lose my breath, BC’, that dinah decides there is so, so, so, so much more to harleen quinzel than anyone could ever realize. 

—

helena finds out a couple of months after it begins when she decides to pay dinah a surprise visit with some donuts and breaks into her apartment in a panic when she doesn’t answer the door. to say she screams in shock when she finds dinah curled up in her bed naked with an equally naked harley quinn cuddled into her chest is an understatement, but the huntress takes it surprisingly well…

and when harley makes the suggestion that she join them one evening and helena’s cheeks turn so red you might as well water her to see if she grows into a tomato, dinah figures out why. 

and apparently, so does harley.

“i think she likes ya, BC!” harley says one evening with a giggle and a pinch to dinah’s cheek from where they’re curled up on the couch watching some shitty sci-fi movie about sharks and tornadoes. 

“how do you know it isn’t you she likes?” dinah asks with amusement, cocking an eyebrow and staring down at the girl whose head is resting in her lap as she begins running her fingers through harley’s hair tenderly.

“huh, touché…maybe she likes us both?” harley says, grinning up at her with bright blue eyes shining with so much excitement that dinah rolls her eyes at, but can’t keep the smile off her face as she scoffs in disbelief.

“are you suggesting something, harley?”

“uh, are you suggestin’ i’m not suggestin’ that i have two hot girlfriends instead of one?” harley asks her, grinning widely while dinah, who takes the moment to acknowledge that harley essentially just called them girlfriends, finds herself getting over it quickly as she laughs softly and leans down to press a quick kiss to her brow.

“you’re insane, i swear…”

“part of my charm!” 

of course, helena finding out does eventually lead to renee finding out, especially because helena can’t seem to stop blushing every time she sees dinah after that morning incident, which means it doesn’t take long at all for renee to figure it out.

“what, did you two sleep together or something?” renee says one day with a laugh when she notices the awkward tension in the room, and when helena’s eyes widen before she’s muttering something about getting coffee and running off despite hating the stuff, renee looks up from her computer to dinah with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, and the black canary sighs and says simply:

“she walked in on me with…well, with harley.” 

and renee blinks in shock a couple of times before she’s sighing loudly and taking a sip of her coffee before she’s typing once again.

“i hope you know what you’re getting yourself into with that one.” 

and that’s that.

harley’s visits to dinah’s apartment become more frequent than ever, and she even brings cassandra with her on some occasions, the three of them playing video games in dinah’s living room whenever they get together before harley’s saying:

“scram, kid! dinah and i need some alone time, and don’t forget to get some food for brucie!”

to which dinah rolls her eyes and hands cassandra a twenty, telling her to buy, not steal, because she doesn’t have enough money to bail the kid out of jail if she gets arrested, and she doesn’t necessarily trust harley to do so if she does. 

for a while, things are good. things aren’t just good, they’re fucking great.

but only for a while.

eventually, it all comes crashing down. 

dinah returns home from a mission feeling more defeated than ever, because they still have no fucking information on who the fuck is leading the charge in this drug/sex ring operation taking over gotham, and more kids just keep disappearing, to the point where dinah’s not getting any sleep because she’s wracking her brain trying to think of how the fuck they’re gonna stop this all from happening, but it feels like they’re getting nowhere every time they step out of the warehouse where their base of operations is. 

she’s exhausted, ready to crash out for the next day or two when she grips the doorknob of her apartment door and is about to shove the key in, when she hears the sound of muffled screaming behind the door.

she freezes, her heart racing, and she contemplates reaching for her phone in her back pocket to call renee and helena, but instead, she inhales shakily and grips the doorknob again, preparing herself to scream someone’s goddamn head off if she has to. 

she doesn’t like using her powers, in fact, she fucking hates it, but she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. 

she throws the door open, mouth dropping open to scream with her face already cringing at the windows she’s gonna have to replace once this is over when the sight before her causes her to stop short.

harley, giggling as she stands in front of some guy who is sitting on a chair in the middle of dinah’s living room.

no, not sitting.

he’s _tied_ to it. 

his arms are bound to the armrests, feet tied to the legs of the chair, and there’s tape over his mouth that’s silencing him, but dinah can very clearly see his face is covered in blood and one eye is bruised and swollen shut, his one good eye darting over to dinah before he’s screaming for her to help him through the tape on his mouth-

“oh shut it, small fry! we’re in _her_ apartment, i highly doubt she’ll be callin’ anyone to help you!” harley says with a roll of her eyes before she’s turning to face dinah with a grin and making her way over to her. 

“hiya honey! look what i got ya! a present!” harley squeals, clapping her hands and grabbing dinah’s before she’s dragging her inside and shutting the door behind her.

meanwhile dinah, who is trying very hard to wrap her mind over just what the fuck is going on here, looks to harley in shock as she grins and nods at the guy in the chair.

“found your guy!” she says excitedly, watching as dinah raises an eyebrow in surprise and points at the man currently tied to a chair and bleeding severely from many different wounds. 

“ _he’s_ leading the charge?” dinah can’t help but scoff, and harley shrugs and suddenly moves around the guy until she’s standing behind him, the guy following her with his eyes with a terrified whimper.

“eh, kinda! he’s one of his lackies! saw him talkin’ up a group of young girls, tellin’ them he could get them a modeling gig if they went with him! scumbag!” harley growls, this anger in her eyes as she grips the guy’s hair and pulls his head back, pulling a knife from behind her back and holding it to his throat as dinah steps forward in panic.

because yes, this guy is a piece of shit, but he’s not the guy they’re after.

“harley-.”

“he aint’ talkin’, but i think a little scream might get his tongue to loosen up a little!” harley says through gritted teeth, cackling wickedly as the man screams in panic beneath the tape over his mouth, and dinah curses under her breath before she’s rushing forward and grabbing harley’s arm, dragging her away from the guy and ignoring the way the woman whines in protest. 

“what the fuck are you doing?!” dinah hisses angrily, watching as harley rolls her eyes with a grin. 

“whaaat, it’s just a bit of torture to find out who his boss is-.”

“you brought him to my fucking place?! you couldn’t take him to the warehouse?!” dinah growls, squeezing harley’s arm just a little as the girl laughs and waves nonchalantly.

“come on, with goodie two shoes renee montoya there? she wouldn’t condone any of this, but i know _you_ know what it takes to get answers-.”

“no, i don’t agree with any of this! this isn’t what we do, harley! we’re not them!” dinah tells her firmly, shaking her head and looking back at the guy as harley scoffs and raises an eyebrow at her before pointing at herself. 

“hello? bad guy, remember?” she says with a laugh.

and dinah clenches her jaw before she licks her lips and quickly swallows the lump in her throat, harley’s words reverberating in her mind.

she got so lost…so lost in it all, in the happiness and the ease of which they gelled together…

“yeah…how could i forget?” dinah deadpans, staring at the girl and watching as harley’s smile slowly fades…

and the hurt in her eyes is evident, guilt immediately welling up inside dinah’s chest at the sight of it before those blue eyes dart away from hers to stare at the floor instead. 

“…good luck, i guess. and you’re welcome, by the way.” she says simply, and harley shrugs her arm out of dinah’s grip and makes her way over to the double doors that lead to dinah’s balcony.

“wait, harley…”

it takes a moment for everything to catch up to dinah, for her to realize her words have really hurt the girl she cares about, that her words were harsh and cruel when harley hasn’t been that person for a long time, and she steps forward just as the doors close behind the former clown princess of crime, but with a guy beaten up and bloody in her living room, and with harley ignoring her as she disappears over the railing, using her gymnastic skills to get as far away from dinah as possible, well…

“fuck.” 

—

a couple of days go by, harley doesn’t show up. 

dinah ends up handing the guy over to renee, who has him arrested, but he still doesn’t say a word, only leading to more frustration for the birds of prey, but right now, dinah has other things on her mind.

she doesn’t have a number to call, neither harley or cassandra possessing phones for her to do so, and it’s not like dinah knows where they operate from, both girls tend to just come to them.

she’s frantic, upset, and wants nothing more than to apologize to harley, but she doesn’t show up.

no, harley doesn’t…

but cassandra does.

four days after the incident and the last time dinah saw harley, she gets a knock on the door, and she’s jumping up and rushing to it with a cry of relief, thinking it’s the girl she hasn’t been able to get out of her mind for months now before she opens the door-

and finds cassandra standing in front of her with a bag over her shoulder and tears falling down her cheeks.

“h-harley’s g-gone! sh-she just up and l-left me, and sh-she took b-bruce with her!” 

the words knock dinah for six, the black canary stumbling back and gripping the door frame as tears flood her eyes, but she clenches her jaw and pulls cassandra into her arms, hugging her tightly while this young girl cries into her shoulder and clutches her tightly.

dinah’s heart is aching, and part of her wants to curl up into a ball on her bed and cry, but cassandra is hurting more than she is, and dinah isn’t about to leave her to mourn her own pain.

so instead, she grits her teeth and drags cassandra to her couch, and dinah has no idea how much time has passed by the time cassandra looks up at her with a sniff and red, puffy eyes, bottom lip trembling as she asks:

“do you think she’s gonna come back?” 

and dinah just lets her tears fall as she does her best to smile and presses a kiss to cassandra’s hair.

“i don’t think so, kid. i’m sorry.” 

renee and helena welcome cassandra with open arms because of course they do, and cassandra settles in at the warehouse easily, renee taking the child under her wing and practically adopting her while also teaching her how to help out with their business. 

dinah’s so preoccupied with making sure cassandra is okay, that it doesn’t really hit her that harley is gone until a week or so after the fact, when cassandra is smiling again and laughing at a joke renee tells her.

it’s then that dinah’s heart truly takes everything in.

she excuses herself and makes her way out of the warehouse, hands trembling as she reaches for the cigarette tucked behind her ear and the lighter in her pocket.

she’s barely lit it and taken a drag before her tears get the better of her and she’s sobbing, chest wracked with sadness and grief as she sobs into her hands and tries her best just to _breathe._

she _misses_ her. 

she misses her so fucking much it _hurts_ , she misses waking up to her scratching at her neck or collarbone playfully or kissing her to consciousness. she misses the touch of her pale skin and that red stained smile. she misses the way she’d always show up so unpredictably, the way she’d cuddle up to her with a kiss and a chuckle, the way she confided in dinah in the same way dinah confided in her, god…

she can’t fucking believe it, but of all the people in gotham fucking city, she _misses_ harley fucking quinn. 

she just wants to know she’s okay at least-

“dinah…” 

the sound of her name startles her, and dinah quickly wipes away her tears and looks up to see helena standing in front of her, staring at her with sympathetic eyes and a sad smile as dinah lets out a shaky exhale and smiles back as best as she can.

“h-hey! umm…cass and renee are inside, if you wanna…” helena shakes her head and takes a seat beside her, looks at her so intently and unwaveringly that dinah finds her bottom lip trembling before she chokes on a sob and leans back in her seat, taking a drag of her cigarette and shaking her head with a scoff of disbelief.

“sh-she just left! i don’t…i c-can’t-.” dinah barely gets out, wiping away the tears that fall with a growl of frustration as helena sighs and hesitates before she’s awkwardly reaching out and gripping dinah’s shoulder tightly.

“shh…” she whispers, that hand now rubbing her back consolingly, and despite helena’s general social awkwardness, dinah finds herself leaning into helena’s touch with a sigh, looking to the girl in thanks as she purses her lips and suddenly jerks her head towards her bike that’s next to dinah’s car.

“come on, let’s go get drinks.” she says simply. dinah scoffs again, wipes away the remaining tears with a roll of her eyes and a chuckle.

“it’s three in the afternoon, helena.”

“so? it’s happy hour somewhere, right? come on!” helena says surprisingly brightly, and dinah hesitates for just a moment more before she decides, well…

fuck it.

she’s heartbroken.

and it’s nothing a little whiskey can’t fix.

—

a couple of months go by.

dinah finds herself slowly healing. helena is surprisingly her rock throughout it all, her drinking buddy and her confidant and she finds it easy to bond with her, finds there’s a lot about the orphan turned assassin to like in the moments she spends with her, because helena is actually funny and smart and incredibly kind once you get passed the tough exterior she fronts with. 

she’s a little awkward on the intimacy front, still unsure of when to hug someone or pat them on the back, or when to simply offer a shoulder to cry on, and on more than one occasion she’s bopped a flat palm on top of dinah’s head repeatedly as if she’s a dog and she’s patting her, but dinah doesn’t necessarily blame her for not having a clue on how to be an intimate person. she was raised with two cold blood assassin’s whose only focus was to teach her how to kill. 

but the great thing about helena is that she wants to grow and adapt and change. she’s not so…cemented in her ways.

she’s also incredibly beautiful, a fact that often has dinah blushing whenever the girl so much as smiles at her, something that has cassandra and renee rolling their eyes whenever they witness it because it’s so clearly obvious that they like each other, but they’re acting like middle schoolers with crushes that they can’t seem to act upon.

dinah doesn’t know what’s holding helena back, but she knows what’s holding her back.

because even though she heals and her pain becomes less and less prominent as time goes by, and even though helena slowly but surely helps heal the cracks in her heart from losing harley, dinah can’t stop thinking about her. it keeps her up at night and has her tossing and turning, but at least it’s not making her cry at random hours of the day, so she considers it progress.

the funny thing however, about progress, is that it can all fade within a second.

and all her progress just comes crashing down when, on a fateful thursday night over three months to the day since harley had left her, dinah is visited by none other than-

“harley?”

it’s so fucking weird, how dinah feels her entire body slowly become pins and needles the second her eyes land on the pale girl at her doorstep when she opens it, how she feels it spread from her toes all the way to the top of her head in a matter of seconds as her heart clenches repeatedly, but it’s not anger or heartbreak that floods her.

it’s panic.

because harley is leaning against the doorframe with a heaving chest and fluttering eyes, blood staining her skin and hands as she clutches her side and looks up at dinah with a breathless pant before she’s stumbling over the threshold. 

“hey, singer lady…been a long time…” harley croaks out before her eyes are rolling into the back of her head and she’s falling forward-

right into dinah’s arms. 

dinah catches her with wide eyes filled with tears, her whole body shaking the second she feels how cold harley’s skin is in the palm of her hands before she’s lifting her and dragging her over to her bedroom.

“fuck! come here, come on…” dinah grunts, harley’s body almost completely lifeless as she leans against dinah for support, and they burst through her bedroom door with dinah wrapping one arm around her waist and slinging harley’s arm over her neck with the other before she’s dragging her over to her bed and carefully laying her down on top of it.

she’s hurt, clearly, which means someone’s hurt her. someone’s touched her, left her beaten and bruised and dinah is ready to kick whoever’s ass she needs to-

“harley, hey! hey, look at me! who did this to you?” dinah demands, tapping the girl’s cheek to get her to open her eyes, which she does slowly with a wince and a groan of pain, looking to dinah with a heavy pant and an even heavier sigh of exhaustion.

“uh, well…turns out the b-big boss man of that operation you guys are trying so hard to bring down wasn’t too happy about me landin’ his right hand man in jail, so…he sent some of his goons after me, and…i’ve been runnin’, but…looks like they finally caught up yesterday.” harley manages to cough out, clutching her side once more with clenched fists and clear pain evident on her face while dinah tries to process what she’s just said. 

“yesterday? shit, we gotta get you to a hospital-.” dinah says hurriedly, about to jump up to grab her car keys when harley’s hand flies out to close her fingers over her wrist with a whine. 

“nuh uh! no hospital! i’m fine, BC, relax-.”

“harley, you’re bleeding all over the fucking place! i can’t just-.” dinah growls, but harley’s hold on her wrist tightens, stopping her words in their tracks as harley bites down on her lower lip and shakes her head before looking up at dinah with a sigh. 

“dinah…please. no hospital.” 

it slowly dawns on dinah that harley’s head is technically still on a platter with a lot of people in gotham city, including the police, and if she goes to the hospital, well…

“okay…okay, just lay still, i have a first aid kit in the kitchen.” dinah murmurs, slowly pulling her hand out of harley’s grip before she’s tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and dinah blinks back more tears at the sight of her bruised and bloody face, amazed at how harley still manages to smile and let out a soft giggle at her words. 

“hurry back. miss you when you’re gone.” she whispers, and dinah rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same and hurries into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit above the fridge before she’s rushing back to find harley right where she left her, a sigh of relief escaping her that she didn’t even know she had in her.

she’s too scared to let harley out of her sight right now, because she’s already lost her once, the idea of it happening again…

she opens the first aid kit, clears her throat and blinks back her tears as she grabs the rubbing alcohol and a rag and gently swashes it around before she’s helping harley prop herself up onto her pillows and gently dabbing at the wounds on her face. harley barely even winces, just watches dinah with a smile and traces patterns on the arm not working on her face. 

“you said they ‘finally’ caught up to you…how long have they been after you?” dinah asks after a while, looking at harley in wonder as she hesitates before she sinks into dinah’s pillows and suddenly turns her head, burying her face into dinah’s pillow and sniffing as her eyes flutter closed before she sighs almost mournfully.

“i really missed you.” harley says hoarsely after a brief pause, finally turning to look back at dinah with tears in her eyes as the black canary swallows the lump in her throat and tries her best not to cry as well. 

“harley…” 

her ocean eyes are swimming with tears as harleen quinzel looks up at dinah lance and lets out an almost exhausted whimper before she’s gripping dinah’s hand and squeezing it so tightly, the girl almost loses all blood flow to it immediately.

“i didn’t want the kid to get hurt. as soon as they almost got me the first time…” harley trails off, eyes distant before she shakes her head infinitesimally and looks back up at dinah sadly.

“how is she doin’? is she okay?” she asks so, so softly, dinah wonders for the briefest moment why she ever thought there was a bad bone in harley quinn’s body in the first place before harley’s history of crime comes rushing back to the forefront of her mind, but it doesn’t stop her from smiling as she brushes harley’s hair away from her face once more.

“we’ve got her, she’s been with us, she’s…” dinah trails off, remembers the nights cassandra spent crying, remembers the nights _she_ spent crying, curled up on this exact same bed, heartbroken over this girl before her…

“she’s pissed off. and she has every right to be. you could’ve said goodbye to her. you could’ve told her why you left. you…you could’ve told _me._ ” dinah says through barely clenched teeth, harshly wiping away at her tears because dinah lance is anything but _weak_ , and to her surprise, harley scoffs with a roll of her eyes before she’s suddenly shoving dinah’s hand away from where it’s resting on her shoulder and pushing herself up into a seated position with a wince.

“what do you care? i’m the bad guy, remember? you said it yourself.” harley mumbles, whimpering as she clutches her side once more before dinah’s glaring at her and reaching for the hem of her shirt to take a look at her ribs.

“don’t say stupid shit like that, it pisses me off.” dinah says firmly, her anger only growing when harley slaps her hand away once again.

“am i wrong?” she demands, glaring as dinah glares back before she jumps up with a frustrated growl.

“you’re damn fucking right you are! of course i fucking care, harley! i fell in love with you and you fucking disappeared!” dinah shouts loudly, the glass of water on her bedside table vibrating slightly as the sonic tremors in her throat tickle it lightly, her powers dying to burst forth, but if harley is scared or surprised, she doesn’t show it.

instead, she’s staring at dinah in shock, clearly not expecting her to say what she just did as she slowly pushes herself up off the bed with a cry of pain to stand in front of a crying dinah with tears in her own eyes.

“you love me?” she whispers in shock, clearly not expecting the woman before her to say that and prompting dinah to laugh in disbelief before she takes harley’s hands into her own, squeezing them gently as she does.

“is that such a crazy thing to believe? we had something _good._ didn’t we?” dinah whispers, more tears falling down her cheeks as harley sniffs once adorably and sighs with her eyes cast downward, unable to look at her.

“i…dinah, i’m no good for you-.” harley starts, but dinah shakes her head and grips harley’s face into her hands, thumbs brushing over those pale cheekbones stained with tears, blood and mascara as she interrupts her.

“fuck that, you think i care about that shit?! look at where we live, harley! look at the shit we _do!_ fuck anything about deserving, i want what i want and want _you_ -.”

“god, shut up!” harley whispers, and before dinah can say anything else, harley wraps a hand around the back of her neck and pulls her in, lips capturing dinah’s in a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue and all encapsulating, a kiss that has dinah moving her hands from harley’s face to her waist to hold her closer until harley’s pulling away with a gasp of pain that dinah hardly registers as their foreheads rest against each other, the both of them catching their breath…

“stay. you fucking stay, d-don’t you leave me again…” dinah whispers, sniffing back more tears as harley doesn’t reply and simply kisses her once again before she’s reaching for the hem of dinah’s shirt and lifting it up off her body. she throws it somewhere across the room before she’s looping her fingers into the belt hoops of dinah’s jeans and pulling her down on top of her as they go crashing onto the bed. 

harley groans in pain below her, and dinah pulls back and looks down at her with concern before she’s the one gripping harley’s shirt between her fingers and peeling the fabric up and off her body, her concern only growing more and more with each inch of black and blue skin that’s exposed to her.

“harley, your ribs…” dinah whispers, eyes taking in the bruised skin in panic as her fingers brush over it, but all it does is cause harley to arch into her touch with a moan before she’s wrapping her legs around dinah’s waist and practically forcing her back down until they’re face to face, their lips softly brushing as harley’s nails dig into dinah’s back. 

“shh…i’m beggin’ you, BC…shut up and _fuck_ me.” harley whispers against her lips, and with a simple kiss and the taste of her skin as dinah ducks down to suck the skin of her neck between her lips, she lets herself get pulled back under, into the absolute chaos and destruction of one harley quinn.

—

dinah wakes up to an empty bed and a note on the pillow beside her that has a red lipstick stain on it with the word ‘goodbye’ written in harley’s handwriting. 

but dinah’s done her crying for harley quinn, and part of her knew that even though she had asked harley to stay last night, she’d wake up to an empty bed…

so despite the tears that prick her eyes and the heartbreak that settles in her chest, she still finds herself throwing the covers off her naked body before she’s heading to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. 

because she’s dinah lance, and she doesn’t fucking cry for anyone. 

besides, she has work to do.

so she gets dressed and makes her way out, jumps into her car and heads to the warehouse, and when she walks in, renee runs up to her with wide eyes and look of excitement.

“we got him! we got that son of a bitch!” she hisses, clapping her hands and pointing to the computer screen as cassandra leans back in her chair and points up at the screen as well while chewing on a lollipop. 

“his name is frank sterling, he was a friend of sionis’s, and it looks like he decided to pick up the mantle of resident asshole of gotham city! he’s got a whole lotta firepower and a whole lotta people on his payroll, but he’s got a deal going down tonight that’s apparently closed doors, there won’t be a lot of people there. this is our opportunity to bring him down!” renee tells her as dinah takes in the face of the man who has been haunting her fucking dreams for the last five months. 

she knows him…she saw him so many fucking times at the black mask club, always by roman’s side, the son of a bitch…

“then what the fuck are we waiting for?” dinah hisses through bared teeth, anger she didn’t even realize was residing inside her bursting forth as renee cackles and claps her hands before gripping dinah’s biceps and squeezing them tightly.

“see, there’s the attitude i’ve been waiting for, let’s do this! kid, don’t you move from this fucking warehouse, you hear me?!” renee shouts at cassandra, who shrugs and suddenly exits the screen of frank sterling’s face to open up some video game instead. dinah feels guilt flood her at the sight of cassandra, but she knows now is not the time to tell her about harley, so instead, she follows renee to their weapons arsenal and begins to load up.

she needs to focus, now more than ever. 

helena arrives ten minutes later, renee giving her a quick rundown before she’s stocking up on arrows and loading her crossbow without any protest. 

dinah finds herself smiling at the way helena immediately prepares herself for battle, and less than ten minutes later they’re all making their way outside to dinah’s car, each of them carrying a duffel bag of weapons.

they know this is gonna be their biggest fight yet, they need all the arsenal helena’s inheritance can get them. 

“renee, you scratch my car, i’ll kick your ass.” dinah murmurs, throwing her keys to the ex-cop as she loads the duffel bag in her arms into the backseat while helena does the same. renee simply laughs and jumps into the driver’s seat of dinah’s car while dinah herself makes her way over to helena’s bike with helena herself.

helena lets out a shaky breath as she straddles her bike and revs the engine, the black canary smiling despite herself as she swings a leg over the bike and wraps her arms around helena’s waist to secure herself before settling down behind her.

“we ready?” dinah calls out. renee gives them a thumbs up before she’s taking off, and helena takes her glasses off her head and settles them over her eyes, closing them shut before she takes her helmet off the left handle bar of her bike and holds it behind her for dinah to take. as soon as dinah has the helmet on, helena takes off, the rush of adrenaline hitting dinah and causing her to hold helena just a little tighter.

she tries not to think about harley, tries not to think about how much her heart hurts and how she’s positive this time around, harley’s absence is permanent, tries to focus instead on the mission in front of her. 

stopping frank sterling from stealing any more children and distributing any more drugs. 

they stop at what looks like some abandoned building, some glass windows broken and the paint peeling off the concrete of the thirty foot tall building as helena follows renee into the parking lot of the building across from it, her bike roaring to life the harder she revs it until they’re pulling to a stop. dinah swings her leg off the bike with a groan and takes the helmet off, handing it back to helena with a smile as she gets off the bike before renee makes her way over to them with a handgun gripped between her fingers. 

“okay, from what i heard on the radio, the police will be raiding the place in an hour-.”

“wait, the police? what, did you hack their radio?” dinah says in surprise, and renee rolls her eyes as she cocks her gun with a scoff.

“of course i did, you think i’m an amateur?” 

“why are we showing up an hour earlier then, they probably aren’t even there yet!” helena says with a glare thrown in renee’s direction, and the woman shakes her head and looks at her two younger partners in heroism with an angry glare of her own. 

“i was a detective for years with the GCPD, you think i don’t know when some douchebag is giving the wrong intel on purpose? frank gave them the wrong information because he knew they were listening in, it’s how he’s avoided detection for so fucking long! by the time the police get here, _they’ll_ be gone! but they’re not counting on us being here! now are you two gonna trust me, or are you gonna keep arguing?!” she demands.

and dinah and helena raise their hands in surrender with murmured apologies before renee huffs and makes her way out of the parking lot, both women following after her quickly. 

of course, dinah would’ve seen the warning signs that it was all too good to be true from the second they were able to step inside the building without a hitch, and frankly, so would renee if they both had their heads screwed on properly. renee’s so fucking focused on getting this guy and bringing him down before the police do, and dinah’s head is a fucking mess, stuck between thinking about harley and trying to focus on the job at hand, that helena’s the only one who falters and stops short when they enter the building with no issue, her eyes narrowing and her ears perking to hear _anything_ that doesn’t seem right…

“montoya, wait a sec-.”

and then it’s chaos. 

gunfire rings out all around them, and helena manages to get a hand around renee’s neck to pull her behind a column, but with the other hand occupied with her crossbow, she can’t get a hold of dinah in time.

there’s the sound of a bullet hitting flesh, and dinah feels hot fire rip through her body before she’s falling. 

she doesn’t know where she’s been hit, only knows that she has, and she’s desperately trying to gasp in air, but it’s like the shock of being shot has stopped her lungs from functioning, because everything seems muted and slow. 

“DINAH!”

rough hands grip her by the collar of her shirt before she’s being dragged, and the movement causes more fire to rip through her, but despite the pain, she still manages to keep her mouth shut, still manages to simply groan instead of scream in pain because renee and helena are right next to her and she’s not about to blow out their eardrums-

“renee, she’s bleeding way too much!”

“yeah we can’t do anything to help her if we’re shot along with her! we gotta take these guys out first!” 

everything sounds muffled and muted, and all dinah can really feel in this moment is the pain ripping through her body, still unsure of where exactly she’s been hit until she feels something hard press down on her stomach, and the pain that rips through her causes a cry of pain to escape her despite herself as tears begin to fall.

fuck, she fucking hates crying-

“dinah, stay with me!”

helena’s voice sounds frantic, but dinah can barely see her through the mess of tears, only knows she’s somewhere above her as more pressure it put on her stomach and more pain rips through her entire body.

she can faintly hear the gunfire still raining down on them, and she knows what she has to do, it’s just gathering the strength to do it. 

she thinks about the kids who are relying on her right now, and, fuck, even despite her anger at the woman, she thinks about harley showing up last night, beaten and battered and bruised because of frank sterling and the people currently shooting at them, and then she thinks about herself, and thinks about the fact that she’s bleeding out and she’s possibly dying-

and she finds herself gritting her teeth before she grips helena’s hand on her stomach and looks up at her blindly.

“cover your ears!” she manages to grunt out, pushing herself up and leaning back against the column they’re all hiding behind as more pain hits her. she rests a hand over her stomach, her finger just touching the hole through her body, and she feels the bile immediately rise in her throat at the touch of it, something she quickly swallows down before rough hands are gripping her shoulders.

“what?! dinah, no, you can’t-.” helena starts, but dinah’s shoving her back with a growl and glaring up at her, the huntress’s face finally coming into view, her brown eyes filled with worry and panic-

“i said cover your fucking ears!” dinah yells, and she sees helena hesitate before she’s placing the palms of her hands over her ears and is grabbing renee and pulling her back from the side of the column where she’s shooting at anyone she can find. 

as soon as renee’s hands are over her ears, dinah’s pushing herself up on shaking legs and turning the corner as she takes a deep breath and screams as loud as she fucking can.

she’s collapsing to her knees within seconds, the strength draining out of her with each sonic wave that’s released from her throat, and the gunfire ceases the more her scream goes on, this power exuding from her and causing waves of adrenaline to rush through her body before all too quickly, she loses her last ounce of breath, and she’s falling face first onto the concrete while everything turns dark.

—

the first thing she registers is the throbbing pain in not only her head, but her whole body.

dinah lance has been through quite a lot of pain in her life, both physical and emotional, but this? yeah, this far outweighs anything she’s ever been through before. 

this hurts worse than the pain her body was in the days following that final battle with roman sionis, that fucking sucked balls and _this_ feels worse-

“hey…” 

dinah groans and finally manages to gather the energy to blink her eyes open, everything a messy blur around her, a face slowly beginning to come into view.

a face she immediately registers as helena bertinelli’s. 

“hey-ah, fuck!” dinah growls out in pain the second she attempts to sit up, and it takes her a moment once she’s settled back down for her to realize that she’s in her own apartment and in her own bed as helena chuckles and rests a hand on her shoulder to keep her still. 

“yeah, try not to move too much. it was a through and through bullet and it somehow managed to miss any major organs, but you still lost a lot of blood.” she says softly. dinah swallows thickly, realizes how parched her throat is as she winces and attempts to clear it. 

“did we stop him?” she manages to croak out. helena smiles and reaches for the glass of water on her bedside table, and dinah manages to get herself up at least enough so her head isn’t laying flat as she takes the glass and practically skulls it down with a moan. 

“we stopped him. he’s rotting away in a prison cell right now, along with all his other lackeys. renee found the cells they were keeping the kids in, we got them out and home safe. there’s still a few of them to get back home, that’s what her and cass are doing right now.” helena tells her as dinah lifts the hem of the tank top she’s wearing to see a bandage covering most of the area to the left of her bellybutton. she touches it gingerly before she looks up at helena in surprise.

“how…fuck, how long have i been out for?” helena frowns at her question before she exhales shakily and nods.

“about a day and half or so, almost two. that power of yours takes a lot out of you.” she says hoarsely. dinah sinks back onto her pillow at her words, dumbfounded by them as she tries to piece together the idea of being unconscious for that fucking long.

she’s only used her powers a handful of times in her life, and it’s only ever resulted in a few minutes of consciousness, not almost forty eight hours.

granted, she wasn’t suffering from a fucking gunshot wound those other times…

“shit…” she hisses as the smallest movement causes her stomach to ache, and helena sighs before she’s pushing dinah back down onto the bed properly.

“you stay here, rest up. i’ll get you something to eat.” she says firmly, making her way to the door, but not before-

“helena?” dinah calls out, wincing at the ache in her throat it causes as helena spins around to look at her expectantly.

and dinah smiles as best as she can at her, dimples poking into her skin for the first time in a long time from how widely she’s doing it. 

“thank you.”

helena smiles back at her, this soft laugh escaping her before she suddenly closes the door once more and makes her way back to the bed, sinking down on it and looking dinah in the eyes with hesitation.

“i…i was scared before. the idea of losing you, of losing anyone i care about again…it scares the fuck out of me. so i tried to keep my distance, tried to…” helena trails off, swallowing thickly as dinah takes in the almost cataclysmic amounts of pain hidden in her brown eyes that quickly move up to meet her own, this sad smile taking over her features as she does.

“but you fell, and for a second you weren’t moving, and i swear i felt my heart stop.” helena whispers, her eyes moving down to her lap where she’s resting her hands as dinah’s own heart begins to beat erratically at her words. 

“helena…” dinah starts, but she stops, because truth be told, she has no idea what to even say, and helena smiles at her before she’s shifting just a little bit closer. 

“i’m not scared anymore. because you fell, and i think for the first time in a long time, i was the most scared i’ve ever been since i watched my family die all around me. so…suddenly, being around you and liking you the way that i do doesn’t seem so frightening anymore.”

dinah has no idea how it happens, but she finds herself reaching out to grip helena’s wrist, her words reverberating in her brain and making her feel nothing but happiness for the first time in a long time despite the pain her body is in as she uses her grip on helena to tug her down.

and helena looks at her with wide eyes in surprise before dinah’s reaching a hand up despite her injuries to cup helena’s cheek before she’s kissing her.

the kiss is so soft, filled with a different kind of passion than her one with harley all those months ago, and dinah finds herself leaning in closer to deepen it, desperate for someone to just _care_ when helena suddenly pulls away and looks into her eyes with a smile and an almost understanding sigh.

“she came to see you the other night, didn’t she?” she whispers. dinah blinks once in shock, stares at helena in confusion before she asks:

“how did you-.”

“i saw the note on your pillow when i brought you in here.” helena interrupts, nodding to where that note is now on her bedside table, the red lipstick still as prominent as ever, and dinah blinks back tears before she looks to helena with a shaky sigh.

“helena, i-.”

“you care about her, dinah. shit, i care about her, too. if you want time i can give it to you, but…” helena hesitates, chews on the inside of her cheek as if she’s debating whether or not she should say these next words before she clearly decides it’s worth the risk. 

“you can care about us both, you know. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

oh.

“there isn’t?” dinah says in confusion, not quite sure what to make of what helena’s just said before the girl’s cheeks are turning red, either out of shyness or embarrassment, dinah isn’t sure, but she smiles and looks up at the black canary nonetheless. 

“when your whole family is killed and you grow up with two men who train you to become a killing machine, love is something you don’t come by often. so when it does come around…you tend to want as much of it as you can get.” she says with a shrug.

oh.

_fucking **oh.**_

“huh, go figure…she was right in asking if you wanted to join us.” dinah says with a wicked grin, prompting helena to groan before she whips a hand out to whack dinah’s thigh playfully.

“shut up…” she grumbles, taking dinah’s hand into her own as dinah laughs loudly before she stops all too suddenly with a groan at the pain. she sighs, chews on her bottom lip before she looks up at the ceiling in an effort to expel the tears threatening to fall.

“well, as fun as that might’ve been…i’m pretty sure she’s gone forever, bertinelli…she’s not coming back.” she deadpans, her heart clenching just at the mention of harley, because there’s a part of dinah that’s quite sure she’ll never get over her. 

and she’ll never stop missing her.

but to her surprise, helena chuckles before she’s leaning in to press another quick kiss to dinah’s lips, nuzzling her nose against the black canary’s affectionately before:

“she’s harley quinn, dinah. she’s full of surprises.” 

after that, helena makes her a sandwich before renee’s calling her away to help her with something, and after a lot of fussing and a lot of convincing, helena finally agrees to leave dinah alone on her own, something that dinah finds herself regretting immediately when she can barely get out of bed on her own to go to the bathroom.

dinah pops a couple of pain pills when it gets too much, but spends a majority of the rest of the day in bed, and it’s not until well into the evening when her phone rings, dinah scrambling around her bed looking for it before she finally finds it underneath the blankets and answers it without checking the caller id. 

“dinah lance.” she answers, frowning when there’s no reply on the other end of the line.

“hello?” she croaks out, wincing as she slowly settles back onto her bed with a sigh of pain, scratching her brow impatiently-

“did you get him?”

she freezes, her heart racing the second she hears the sound of her voice, and fuck’s sake, dinah can feel her eyes already beginning to water as she licks her lips and sits up straighter, ignoring the pain from her wounds as she does. 

“we did. he’s locked up, harley.” she whispers softly, smiling as best as she can when she hears harley let out a shaky laugh of relief on the other end of the line.

_get her back, dinah, get her back…_

“he’s gone, baby, you…you can come home now.” dinah tells her, sniffing once and wiping away her tears as she hears another breathy sigh on the other end of the line. 

it’s like she can see her in her mind’s eye, can see harley leaning against the telephone booth she’s calling from, crying and trying to hide it because harley isn’t the kind of person to show her emotions to someone, but she showed dinah…

she showed her…

“please, please come home, harley. come back to me.” dinah whispers, not wanting to beg, not wanting to sound as desperate as she does, but she hears harley sniff loudly as if she’s trying to hold back her own tears, and all she wants it to hold the girl in her arms but she has no idea where harley is and it’s not like she’s in any position to go looking for her.

“harley, i miss you…i miss you so fucking much, please just come home.” dinah breathes, waiting with tense shoulders and tears falling before suddenly-

the line goes dead.

“harley?” dinah chokes out, bottom lip trembling as the call ends, and dinah can’t hear anything anymore.

and it seems to be the final breaking point, because before she can stop it, dinah finds herself throwing her phone against the wall in her anger and watching it break apart before she’s screaming so loud and so hard, the windows in her apartment break and shatter.

—

frank sterling ends up being found guilty of drug and sex trafficking and is sentenced to twenty five years to life in prison, his lackeys handed the same punishment as the captain of the gotham city police department begs renee montoya, for the eighth time since she left, to return to duty.

and for the eighth time since she left, renee montoya’s response is the middle finger right to his face as she drinks from her flask and jumps into dinah’s car, asking the two what their next mission is with a grin on her face and the feeling like she’s on top of the world. 

dinah can’t help but share her enthusiasm, only because for once in her life, it seems like things are going the right way. the bad guy is locked up, the kids he hurt get justice, and gotham city has one less scumbag walking its streets. 

it should feel like a victory. and it does for the most part.

it just feels more like a bittersweet one to dinah. 

it’s been almost eight months now since that phone call, eight months since she last saw harleen quinzel, and not a single person has heard or seen hair or hide from her since that day. 

for all she knows, harley could be dead, and as much as it hurts to think about, dinah can’t help but think it’s the most likely thing, because harley is overdramatic and theatrical and craves attention…for her to go eight months without doing something to garner some headlines?

yeah, she’s more than likely dead. 

it pains her to think about it, but she moves past it as best as she can.

and, well…helena’s a big help with that.

dinah smiles and finds herself staring a little too fondly at the way helena’s nose wrinkles in her sleep before she’s snoring softly once more, dinah’s fingers dancing along her bare spine tenderly. 

she’s cute when she sleeps, and talks, and smiles and does pretty much anything, and dinah would definitely be lying if she said it was hard to fall for helena bertinelli in the same way she fell for harley quinn…

truth be told, it was as easy as breathing for both of them.

she sighs heavily before she leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to helena’s brow, unable to stop herself from smiling against her skin before she’s pushing herself up out of her bed and grabbing her robe in the corner. she puts it on, still chuckling at the fact that helena bertinelli is a badass assassin that has a slew of notches in her belt in terms of people she’s killed, but is still somehow her soft girlfriend who kisses the scar on her stomach from that gunshot wound every time they have sex. 

it’s kind of adorable, really. 

she grabs her pack of cigarettes and slides one out, tucks it behind her ear and steps out onto the balcony, taking one last glance back at helena’s sprawled out figure on top of the bed before she’s closing the door behind her and facing the city of gotham with a smile as bright as the batman’s signal in the sky. 

she takes a minute to breath, to take everything in before she reaches for the pocket of her robes and realizes she doesn’t have a lighter.

she curses under her breath before she’s turning back to the door, when suddenly-

“need a light, honey?”

dinah stops short, only one thing running through her mind as her shoulders slump before she’s laughing hysterically with relief and slowly turning around to see a lighter being held in one tattooed and incredibly pale hand, the flame igniting ocean blue baby eyes filled with excitement and happiness. 

“…ain’t anyone ever tell ya smokin’s bad for you?”


End file.
